Dirty talk during sex is not like regular conversation; it is somewhat akin to a form of verbose art. The words that come out of an individual’s mouth and the words that are subsequently echoed in response could either heighten to overall pleasure of your sexual experience, or lead it to a screeching halt. The language you use has to be crafted with simplistic and meaningful intent; it cannot be too detailed or thought provoking, otherwise attention is diverted from getting each other to that pinnacle of enjoyment. It cannot be dry, boring or saturated with corniness either. No one wants to be told dumb jokes while they’re focusing on getting a one-way ticket on the orgasm train. Want to talk dirty the right way? Next time you’re partying underneath the sheets, keep these tips top of mind, and your partner will undoubtedly have goosebumps from head to toe:
1. The art of questioning
Always remember that there is a stark difference between saying, “Baby, don’t you like that?” and “Baby, how was work today?” I say with a 100% absolute guarantee that nobody wants to be asked any pointed questions that required involved responses during foreplay or sex. When you’re in the mood, you have to be in the moment mentally, physically, and emotionally if you aim to have the most satisfying experience possible. General, run-of-the-mill questioning completely kills the mood. On the flip side, a question asking about technique or confirmation of achieving physical success is an entirely different story. Posing a question that encourages your partner to respond about a certain action will just reiterate that you’re [hopefully] right on target with what you’re doing.
2. Tone of voice
It’s all about tonality. Whether you are questioning, clearly speaking or mumbling, if it is done so in your normal speaking voice, senses will not be magically heightened. Instead, if you ask in a sultry whisper and throw in a lip nibble after the fact, you are well on your way to receiving an “A” in Sexy Questioning 101. Sometimes, being barely audible leaves the best lasting impression. It’s almost like your fighting for words and grasping onto the only breath you have left as you are working your hardest to please/be pleased.
3. “Compliments only” zone
Do not say anything that could be taken as a critique. When you’re in the mood and the clothes come off, individuals let their guards down and are subject to complete vulnerability. The last thing that either of you want to do, whether it is intentionally or unintentionally, would be to say something that could ruin the moment. Something like, “Oh girl, your ass is so big, it takes up so much room, I love it” is not necessarily something that will be construed as a form of positive reinforcement. Instead, the girl may be left wondering whether she is “fat” or “too big” according to your comment. For the rest of foreplay and/or intercourse, I can assure you that this is where her mind will be predominantly focused. At the same token, I’m sure no guy wants to hear anything remotely close to his size or performance if it’s not in an overwhelmingly positive way. Remember to only speak of the good things that will confidently impact one another; keep the rest of your commentary internalized.
4. Moderation is key
Whether you’re in the market for a quickie or plan on having sex all day long, don’t overdo the dirty talk. Like anything, too much of a good thing is never a good thing. If you are repetitively using the same lingo and you are trying to capitalize on your naughty conversation for the entire duration of physicality, it becomes a bit unbearable. Say a few things, whether they come out of your mouth just by happenstance in the moment, or if they are premeditated commentary. Then just kiss, bite, suck, whatever you want – let the tongue come out, but keep the words inside.